you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
