I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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