I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
