Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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