I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
