Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize