hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
