is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That's how pantless uber rides happen
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
