office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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