I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
