He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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