TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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