HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize