wrigley field is MILF paradise
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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