he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
