Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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