I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She bit a glass in half.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
