What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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