I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize