at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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