I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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