I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
