is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So. Much. Porn.
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