You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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