oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
