dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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