Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just googled if crying burns calories
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
