I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
