Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
