Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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