come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
