Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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