I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
