NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
