I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
