Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
