that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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