No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
