I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
