i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
