he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
