I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize