If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
