dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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