i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
