yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
