You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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