At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
