He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
