wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Alive.
So much puke
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
