Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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