so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
