Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
