Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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