five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
