matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize