Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
