WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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