Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm always down for nudity.
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