that's an acceptable place to lick
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
