forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
