Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
