Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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