i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
