Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Randomize
