Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
