Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize