Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
