can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
