addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
