you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
