South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
