New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
