I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
