he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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