This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
