im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Shame - the story of my life.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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