She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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