chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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