Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
