For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's shark week go big or go home
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
