Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize