so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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