I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
