I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
